if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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