Its about making memories worth repressing
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
