i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Randomize
