Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize