im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
