Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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