girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
