So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So squirting runs in the family.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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