i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
