fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
