they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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