Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize