Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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