man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
