If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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