Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
