Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
