Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
