I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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