He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize