dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
