Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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