areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
