did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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