xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am spending my child support on dildos
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
