i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
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