Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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