I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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