absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
There's even glitter on my cock...
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