Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
