Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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