i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
