butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
