It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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