Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize