you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Welp...herpes.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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