Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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