are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
