Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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