In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
