dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
