there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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