I accidentally burped into my bong.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
God, I missed his penis.
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