Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
