About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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