The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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