Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
