ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
