i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
