My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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