I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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