We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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