It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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