So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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