That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
