WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
