Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
