idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
