i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just pee around me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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