I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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