I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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